GingerSass

adding ginger to your sass

GingerSass - adding ginger to your sass

Writing

Do you write only for yourself, or do you use your blog to try to connect to other people?

I started my blog to cope with social anxieties. I’m painfully awkward when it comes to dealing with other real, live human beings so hiding behind technology makes it a little bit better.

Over time, I used my blog as a catalyst to make new friends and acquaintances in the blogosphere on Twitter and Instagram.

My blog kind of died.

Then it was revived.

Then it died.

And now we’re back to me trying to keep it alive.

Writing is tough, man. It used to be an outlet, but, lately, it seems more like homework. I’m hoping to revive it– again– for both myself and others.

I miss the writing community.

Writing is tough.

Writer's block feels like that time my cell phone died in my sophomore year of college right before finals.

Writer’s block feels like that time my cell phone died in my sophomore year of college right after midterms.

I can’t quite articulate why I’ve found it so difficult to write these past few months, mainly because I don’t actually know.

I started this blog when I was a senior in college, in the midst of taking graduate courses, getting ready to graduate from undergrad, start student teaching, and trying to cope with my social anxieties the only way I knew how: sarcasm.

Three years later, I’m still extremely socially awkward, full of anxiety when forced to spend time with others, and extremely sarcastic. The difference is I’m also a teacher, and being a teacher has given me a super hero cape that allows me to use my awkwardness to my advantage. I readily admit to my students that I’m weird and awkward, which, honestly, is something everyone should be proud of.

Yet, I can’t admit to myself– or the readers I have left– why I struggle to write.

It’s not that I don’t have anything to say– believe me, I’m as opinionated as ever! I think I just realized, with more and more students finding my blog and calling me “blog famous Ms. B” in the halls, that the false sense of privacy I once had in hiding behind a computer screen is no longer there.

It’s harder to be vulnerable in your online identity when your online identity merges with your professional identity.

So, I’m going to try to write more. When I make my students write, I’ll write. When I have 5 minutes, I’ll free write. I’ll dig out the writing prompt book I purchased on clearance for my students and use it for myself.

Because, honestly, writing has saved my self-identity before. I’m not ready to give up the writer-aspect of who I am quite yet.

Highs and Lows

I’ve been struggling with posting on here lately because I find it so difficult to find the words to articulate everything going through my head lately.

One of my former students sat down and talked with me for awhile the other day, and I couldn’t help but be proud of how much she’s grown in the past year. She’s going places, and that makes me beam. She wants to move past the cards life has dealt her, and I know that she will.

I was also reminded of how one of her peers used to interrupt class last year and insist that we all shared our highs and lows of the week every Friday. It reminded me a lot of Res Life, and, although I would roll my eyes at her, I would sometimes allow the disruptions to occur. These kids needed it.

Sometimes I do too.

So, here are my highs and lows for the week:

Highs:

-My wedding shoes came in!
-My dog has been stupidly cuddly lately, which I’ve loved.
-Our bball team is kicking butt and making their way through States!!
-We had a snow day on Thursday.

Lows:

-My wedding shoes are too big! šŸ™
-Prepping for state testing is draining.
-We had two delayed openings and a snow day this week. I miss Spring.