GingerSass

adding ginger to your sass

GingerSass - adding ginger to your sass

Coming Out: Today’s Generation

A few weeks ago, while my #23til23 challenge was in full swing, I mentioned how I had written a letter to my extended family, coming out as both a lesbian and a blogger. I never actually finished editing the letter, and I never actually sent it, but the letter has been lurking in the back of my mind (and notebook), waiting to be sent. I had decided to wait to come out to the family until next week, as I didn’t want to steal my sister’s spotlight at her family birthday party.

This weekend, my family celebrated my sister’s 18th birthday (GAH! HOW CAN YOU BE 18 ALREADY?!?!). On the eve of her family birthday celebration, I was at V’s house, spending some quality time with her and her dogs, when my mom called.

More or less, she told me that my entire family had been having a V love fest, and how they had decided it was necessary for me to come out to the family so that V could be invited to the family bday party the next day…. and since it was 9:30 at night I’d better act fast.

Before I discuss this any further, I have a few observances to make.

1. V fits in really well with my immediate family.
Mom, Dad, bro, and sis like her. Mom and Dad even had me inviting her to the sister’s bball games these past few weeks, which means a hell of a lot to me. Not only does she get along really well with my family and sincerely support my little sis, but my parents are comfortable enough with my sexuality to have me and my girlfriend at a basketball game, in front of all of the families they’ve known since my sis was in elementary school. When this first started happening I got teary eyed. My parents are the best.

2. Grandma and V get along really well too.
My Grandma goes to a lot of my sister’s bball games as well. She is definitely from a different generation, but I’m really close to her. When I first came out to her a few years ago, I was worried our relationship wouldn’t be the same. While we haven’t directly discussed my sexuality, she’s been my #1 supporter. V and her REALLY hit it off at the first basketball game V went to, and Grandma told Mom “how pretty V is” and “how V has a 1940’s movie star name.” While Grandma won’t call V my girlfriend– and, because of her generation, I don’t ever expect her to really– she has told me how “she really likes my friend V” and “how she is such a nice girl.”

3. V is a keeper.
The fact that my family was having a family pow-wow love fest about V and calling me at 9:30 at night to come out to the family so that V could celebrate my sister’s birthday really blew me away. It left me flabbergasted, dumbfounded, and on Cloud 9 because it confirmed what I’ve known since I went on my first date with V: she’s a keeper. Family is of utmost importance to me, and she encourages me to spend time with them over her if the opportunity presents itself. My family really, really likes her, and Mom even said “it felt wrong for V not to be at the birthday party.” I don’t know what life has in store, and I know I’m border-line U-Haul lesbian for saying this after just under 2 mos of dating, but she definitely is a keeper.

Anyway. Back to the coming out story.

My family had been talking about how much they like V, how well she fits in with the fam, and how much it means to them that she’s been supporting my sis at her bball games. My sis specifically told my mom she wanted V at her party, which prompted the conversation that led to 3 missed calls while I was in the bathroom at V’s place.

When I called my mom back, I was basically told it was silly for me not to be out to the family at this point, and that I should let them all know that I’m gay and to invite V to my sister’s bday party the next day. I was overwhelmed with emotions (excitement, apprehension, happiness, joy, love, appreciation, contentment) at this conversation, but a bit nervous. Nonetheless, with my hands shaking, I texted my extended family the following:

“Hey, it’s Kailynn. This is an awkward mass text. I wanted to let you all know I’m gay and my girlfriend, V, will be at _s party. Mom, Dad, (brother), (sister), & Grandma all like her. Surprise? See you tomorrow, love you. Sorry for the awkwardness of this text.”

Naturally, I hyperventilated a bit after hitting send, screen shotted the text, and posted it on my Facebook with the caption “I just sent out mass text message to my family saying I’m gay and they’re meeting V at my sister’s bday party tomorrow, as per Mom’s request. Surprise?”

Within a few hours, the photo had 66 likes. People called me “brave,” “fantastic,” and “the best.” Even an ex I don’t really talk to much anymore congratulated me on “getting the last toe out of the closet.” One friend said, “And who said texting wasn’t an authentic & effective form of communication?” I received a few messages from Facebook friends thanking me for sharing my story. Some even said how nice it has been to watch my journey  grow and evolve over the years. It was requested that I post some of the replies…which I did.

They looked a little something like this:

coming out- our generation

While I didn’t expect my family members to boycott my sister’s birthday party, I wasn’t sure what to expect from them. Some of them are (seemingly) very religious, and I wasn’t sure how my text message would fly. As you can see, everyone was really loving and supportive.

Once I posted the responses on Facebook, I received even more likes. Comments began to appear, saying how my coming out was “so our generation,” “inspirational,” and “could help a lot of people.” I was asked if I could share my story on a blog, but, let’s be real people… my blog gets first dibs on my story. 😉

My story really is a story of “our generation,” or “Generation Y” or “The Millennials.” (These are people born between 1980 & 1995.) I’ve grown up in a world where I’ve seen the birth of popularity of computers, the internet, cellphones, and new forms of communication. While I love receiving hand-written letters and actual phone calls, people of my generation keep in touch through text messaging or social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, or instagram. For those less advanced, email might be the communication form of choice. There’s also a constantly growing number of bloggers, such as myself, who use blogging to create an identity as a writer, stay in touch with friends, share thoughts on the world, and connect with others. Not only is my mass-text coming out a sign of this generation, but so is the fact that I posted the texts to Facebook, interacted with others about my coming out story, and am blogging about it. This is something someone 10-20 years older than me could not imagine as part of his or her coming out story, and I think it’s interesting to observe that this could actually be a new sort of coming out.

I didn’t actually feel like I was coming out this time around, mainly because I haven’t been “in” for years. I simply haven’t felt the need to share this part of my life with my extended family until now. I am, however, glad that everything is finally “out” in the open. My extended family really liked V, the party went off without a hitch, and we all had a wonderful time. It’s a relief to finally be me 100%, and even more of a relief to be doing it with someone so wonderful by my side.

2013 really is turning out to be a wonderful year for me. 🙂

Also…. I have the best family. EVER.

Sometimes you’re a bitchin’ rockstar from Mars, and other times you’re not.

Sometimes you’re a bitchin’ rockstar from Mars, and other times you’re not.

A week or two back, I excitedly shared the news that I was a national finalist in the Verizon Ultimate Insider contest. I received A LOT of votes and support from my friends, family, followers, and even AfterEllen.com! It was pretty exciting, but I don’t like to be positive. Rather, when something good could possibly happen for me, I tend to be extremely pessimistic about it. I downplay the potential of awesomeness so that, in the case of failure, I won’t be disappointed.

Sooo I’d be lying if I told you I was disappointed about not being selected as the Verizon Ultimate Insider!

How could I be disappointed? Seriously. Think about it.

I started GingerSass in March. GingerSass is just over 6 months old. In the past 6 months, I have gained celebrity followers (okay, so Cady McClain follows me, and I’ve gotten a few tweets from the cast of “Private Practice,” but still), my blog comes up whenever anyone Googles “celesbian,” I’ve gotten free goodies because people think I’m awesome, I’ve attended the world’s largest blogging conference for women (where, by the way, big name bloggers recognized me!), I’ve gained a new nickname in real life, my friends introduce me to people as “my friend the blogger who’s basically an internet celebrity,” I’ve gotten paid to perform at poetry gigs, and I was a national finalist in a contest sponsored by Verizon, one of the major cell phone carriers of our country.

Duuuuude.

I’d say 22 has been a pretty good year so far!

While I really do wish I had won a smartphone (I’m still living in the dumbphone era, gasp!), I have no regrets about losing the Verizon Ultimate Insider contest.

I cannot even begin to say how much I appreciate all of the support and love I have received from each and every one of you, whether it be through reading my blog, liking me on Facebook, tweeting with me, or casting all of your votes for the Ultimate Insider Contest. I may not be the Verizon Ultimate Insider, but I win every day with supporters like you. #cuesappymusic


See? Even as I wrote this in the bookroom at school I couldn’t control my love for all of you, and how you make me feel like a princess!

Why I’ve been M.I.A. (if you noticed, cared, or wanted to cry like I did)

For those of you who follow me regularly, you probably realized that not only were there absolutely no updates for over a week, but my site was down for the past few days. (booohiss.)

I went through a slew of emotions and thoughts.

It all started over a week ago, when I heard from Signs on the Cheap saying they wanted to give me a giveaway on my site. I went to make a raffle via Rafflecopter, and SURPRISE! WordPress based domains cannot have javascript on them. Blah blah blah. This was the latest hurdle WordPress has thrown at me, and I decided to say screw it and invest in getting a new host, something I had been considering for awhile. A few of my fellow BlogHer12 attendees suggested host sites they use, and I ended up using Host Gator due to its relative cheapness and the fact that I could opt for a one year contract per se. (Who’s to say I’ll still be wanting my own host in a year?)

Well, I signed up, invested in HostGator, and couldn’t figure out how to switch hosts. Luckily, HostGator does one free site transfer for you when you sign up. YAY! They transferred it for me in a relatively short time, and all I had to do was change a bit of info via WordPress. Easy enough, right? WRONG. (or at least that’s what I thought). This change was supposed to go through relatively quickly, in 24-48 hours. Over 72 hours later and my site was still down. (Egads.) Sooo I freaked out on Twitter, in the BlogHer12 facebook group, and sent in a few emails to the WordPress and HostGator support teams.

Let me tell you folks, HostGator is amazing. (I’m not being paid to say this, I swear.)

Over the past week or so, I’ve had at least a dozen questions. Their support team, which is available 24/7, has answered all of my questions, no matter how stupid they are. They’ve walked me through EVERYTHING. I also think they’re starting to recognize me by my Twitter handle and website name! They’re polite, patient, friendly, and everything a support team should be. If it weren’t for them, I probably would’ve a) cried, b) been committed to a mental institution, c) given up, or d) all of the above.

So happy together….

It turns out my site wasn’t working for the past 3 days because I was playing around with the HostGator tools and starting making a website with their templates just to see what they looked like.

Enter embarrassed smiley here.

At least HostGator called me to let me know what the problem was, and to verify via the phone what I wanted to do. That’s above and beyond awesome.

ANYWAY I’m back, going to BlogHer12 later this week, and totally excited to be blogging again! Thank you, HostGator.

What glitches have you encountered with your blog or website?