GingerSass

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Tag Archives: rambles

10 minute musings– life as a result of Facebook

11/12/2012- 15 minutes

Today, as I finished writing the draft of today’s post for NaBloPoMo, my mind drifted, as it often does.

I went on Facebook, which was my first mistake. I started reading status updates in my newsfeed, and I came upon one from Mark Doty.

Mark Doty is an amazing poet I was first introduced to at the Dodge Poetry Festival in 2008. He was the first queer poet I ever heard, and, with that, came a special place in my heart for him. The first poem of his I ever heard, “Tiara,” has stuck with me for years. I even used it in a lesson on elegy poetry a few weeks ago with my Creative Writing students.


Mark Doty reading “Tiara” as part of Taylor Mali’s Page Meets Stage poetry series

Anywho, as I read his Facebook status, I learned that Mark had fallen over the weekend when he went to his former house on Fire Island to retrieve some items in the post-Sandy world. His eloquent words struck a cord with me, and I found myself aching for Mark as he ached in his post. Not only did his body ache from his fall, but he also ached as he realized that his last marriage was finished. He said, “Then Alex says something like, “The house bit you,” and I begin to cry in a different way, from another place within my body, because he has tapped into the metaphoric current that has already begun with me — how this house represents some last hope around my last marriage, how that hope fell into dust, and now the loss, guilt and rage I’ve not wanted to allow their hour have struck me down. I am cursing the house and the old marriage and saying now this is the end, this is really where it ends. All this feels like a release of pain, letting this out in sobs and shudders, but there is always a wave of fresh pain behind the last one.”

I felt myself aching for Mark as I remembered the events that led to him being my Facebook friend in the first place. As I mentioned earlier, I first discovered Mark at the Dodge Poetry Festival in 2008. Like any good 18 year old baby dyke groupie, I immediately requested his friendship on Facebook. He accepted, and I discovered that Mark was to be teaching at my University the following year. I applied for his class, and I was promptly rejected. I felt a bit of bitterness, and then I became ingrained in the SLM Cult. (I took poetry courses with the same poetry professor, SLM, 7 times during my undergrad.) That professor honestly impacted my life and helped me believe in myself as a poet and a person. I never looked back at Mark Doty’s rejected course, and I couldn’t help but smile when Mark “liked” a few photos of SLM at a student-lead reading on my Facebook page.


During summer break, following my freshman year of college, I rose to the challenge and designed a cult symbol for the SLM Cult. Please, hold your applause.

Mark Doty may or may not know who I am. In fact, he may only remember me as a Facebook friend (fan) or a student SLM talked about during office hours. (For one particular assignment my senior year, we were asked to bring in a poem that influenced us somehow and write a poem reflective of that. I brought in “Tiara” and said that I had done so because I was feeling particularly gay that week, and Mark Doty was as gay as they got. I don’t actually remember what the poem was that I wrote, but I know that SLM told the class she was going to share my reasoning with Mark.) I do, however, know that Mark encompasses so many of the feelings I have felt over the years, and that he gives me hope for my future. I can only dream that one day I’ll be able to leave an impact in someone’s poetry world like Mark has left in mine.

If nothing else, when I become a celesbian, I’ll always be able to tell people that Mark Doty once rejected me.

Feel better, Mark. Thank you for sharing your life with your readers.

NaBloPoMo 2012: November 7th– hot girls, booze, and bacon

Today’s prompt reads

Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Talk about the last compliment you received.

Hehe. Well, normally this would be one of my students saying “Miss! Miss! I love your nails/shoes/hair/outfit/etc!” in order to sweet talk their way towards a better grade. (Or, occasionally actually complimenting my style. I’m definitely one of the “younger” teachers which means, by the weird laws of high school mentality, I’m cool. In high school. Which BLOWS MY MIND.) However, since my school has been closed since Hurricane Sandy, I haven’t seen my lovely students in almost 2 weeks. Wah.

The last compliment I received was last night via Twitter. I was in a weird mood awaiting the campaign results, and as a friend complained that he wanted bacon, I realized that I actually had a pack of bacon that had a use by date of November 7th. aka today. Oops. Sooo I decided to cook the entire thing off. In my apartment. While watching the Election results. This resulted in the creation of a #Bacon2012 hashtag, and me sending out a lot of overly-tired, pumpkin beer induced bacon tweets.

I’ve never been so proud of so many people I don’t know. #Bacon2012 for the win!

I also ended up responding to a tweet from the lovely DeadCowGirl  saying that she was cooking. She posted a link to a recipe for braised beef shanks, and I tweeted back that I may show up on her doorstep, begging for her cooking with gifts of bacon & booze. Her response? My last compliment, NaBloPoMo!

So there you have it, folks. I’m a hot chick, and even hotter when I show up on peoples’ doorsteps with gifts of booze and bacon.

I love the women I’ve met through BlogHer. Seriously.

I just finished reading Jenny Larson (The Bloggess)’s book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir), and there is an entire chapter devoted to her making friends with girls (bloggers) for the first time. At one point, she says, “…I discovered blogging and found other people online who were misanthropic misfits like me” (Lawson, 169-170).* This perfectly sums up how I feel about the women I met at BlogHer12. While I may seem like I’m able to speak coherently to you folks, I’m letting you in on a painful secret: as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become extremely awkward in social situations. I prefer the safety of texting while standing against the wall at parties, and at the BlogHer Conference in August, although I had the time of my life, I didn’t know how to react when meeting people (take a look at my top ten moments!) or when Big Name Bloggers knew my name.

The women I have met through blogging have helped me gain a voice, and they’ve been the girl friends I never knew I wanted. I’m not afraid to be silly, non-sensical, redunkulous, and me with them. We’re all “misanthropic misfits,” and it means so much to me to have these blogging friends.

So, thank you, DeadCowGirl, for being the inspiration for this NaBloPoMo post and calling me a hot chick.

 

*Yes. I did just cite a quote in MLA format on my blog.

I looooove notebooks. (And women are crazy.) [my last BlogHer12 Post]

I got a lot of free “swag” at BlogHer12. On the first day in the city, I had to buy another suitcase just so I could lug it all home!

Now, a lot of stuff were products I wouldn’t think to buy on my own normally, but I did end up with some pretty amazing things. My top pics? A purse, a $10 giftcard to Kohl’s (that paid for half of a shirt I bought the other day, thank you very much!), a banana shaped usb drive, my nails, and a lot of coupons. The dorky soon-to-be-student-teacher in me also got really excited about the notebook I got from Martha Stewart. It reminds me of the moleskins I’ve had over the past few years, but it’s slightly larger. It’s perfect.

I may be a blogger and a product of the digital era, but I still prefer pen & paper over my Macbook. (Unless, of course, I have hand cramps or forgot a pen. Then my computer wins.) There’s something magical about the smell of a new notebook, the crispness of untouched pages, the undeniable serenity of blank pages just yearning to be written on. As Natasha Bedingfield might sing, “I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined/ I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned.” Blank pages are amazing, and nothing made me happier than to get the notebook from Martha… it even has perforated edges! This is bliss.

As you might be able to tell, I’m really excited about the Martha Stewart Home Office with Avery line. (And no, I’m not being paid to say this.) All of the products are really cute and perfect, and the line’s coming into my life just in time for me to stock up for the school year. I’m starting to get a bit nervous about student teaching a bunch of tenth graders, but I know as soon as I hit Staples I’ll over-buy organizational supplies. (I have a slight office and school supplies addiction.) I’m super excited for all of the cute binders, journals, and notebooks, and I know I’m going to go overboard with the desk accessories. (Have you seen these cute document storage boxes? I’m already thinking of turning them into “Homework” boxes for my students!)


The BlogHer12 loot explosion.

A lot of women who attended BlogHer12 were petty, immature, and ungrateful. It disgusted me that people could be so ungracious towards such a phenomenal experience. In the days that followed the conference, they complained about not getting enough free swag, about the quality of swag, and some even insulted NYC, the host city! I think these women all had glue guns up their rear-ends…They should be ashamed of themselves. The conference was AMAZING. I learned so much, and I am so grateful for all of the fabulous bloggers, brands, and individuals I met. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to attend my first BlogHer. As for those complainers, I think they just didn’t get a notebook. Notebooks make the world go round.


If you want to score some of Martha’s fabulous line, here’s a coupon she tweeted during BlogHer that gets you 50% off. Yipee!

(PS You can see my other BlogHer12 posts here.)

My top 10 moments/rambles of BlogHer12!

In no particular order, these are my top 10 moments of BlogHer12.

1. Seeing Dorothy Snarker’s Face

So those of you who live outside of my world probably have no idea who Dorothy Snarker is, unless you read her blog or have visited AfterEllen. Dorothy is this fabulously amazing writer I’ve had a writing crush on since I first discovered her when I first started checking out AfterEllen 5 or 6 years ago. Her blog, Dorothy Surrenders, is “A gay gal’s guide to pop culture.” She recently ran a fundraiser to get some money towards a new computer, and she surpassed her $2,000 goal by over $10,000. That’s how much people love her. During the 5-6 years her blog has been around, she never posted a picture of herself. She was a complete mystery. As a thank you for raising so much money, she finally posted a picture of her face last month.

None of this really matters, except to tell you how awesome she is.

I met her at a panel she was doing on blogging for the love of it. I went up to her after it was over, and the conversation went something like this:

Me: “Hi-my-name-is-Kailynn,-I-have-a-blog-called-GingerSass-and-I’m-totally-having-a-fangirl-moment-and-telling-you-how-I’ve-been-reading-your-blog-for-5-or-6-years-when-I-first-came-out-and-I-just-wanted-to-say-you’re-awesome-and-I-really-enjoyed-your-session.”

Dorothy: (giving me a oh crap it’s a fangirl smile) “…What did you say your blog was again?”

Me: “GingerSass. Like Ginger’s Ass.”

Dorothy: (small laugh) “Well I’m really glad you enjoyed the session, Ginger Sass!”

Me: “I feel like an elitist because I got to see you in person.”

Dorothy: “Well, just don’t take my picture!” (laughs)

Me: “Okay! Well, uh, thanks for a great session. Bye.” (runs away)

Obviously I know how to play it cool with celesbians. I proceeded to tweet how much I enjoyed the session, and GUESS WHAT?!

Dorothy Snarker responded to me.

/end drooling

2. BHQueer

So I only made it to one official BlogHer12 party. I went to the Queerosphere party on Thursday night, and I met fabulous people from my #BHQueer twitterverse like @QueerieBradshaw, @StacyJill, @lifewithRoozle, @DeadCowGirl, @LoveHeckerty, @quirkyjessi. I met a lot of other fabulous people throughout the conference, but there’s something magical about meeting other bloggers at a party geared towards the queers with fancy drinks, music, and people. Thanks to @debontherocks for putting it all together!


A fancy drink picture. I was drinking a “Twitter Ribbon.”

3. Dani Shay!

Soooo there’s this chick named Dani Shay who you may or may not have heard of. She looks like Justin Bieber, she’s been on America’s Got Talent where she sang a song about how he stole her face, she was on The Glee Project 2, and she’s just awesome. In the 6 degrees of lesbian separation, I actually am friends with the chick who used to do her graphic design when she was first getting started… We all used to chat in MySpace groups back in the day.

ANYWAYS.

On Friday, I walked outside the Hilton where the conference was being held, and walked past a hot butch girl. I guess she noticed me staring cuz she said “Hey,” and I mumbled a hey before I kept walking. AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS DANI SHAY. I walked back, told her I was about to have a fangirl moment, and asked if she was Dani Shay. She said yes, confirming that she wasn’t another lesbian look alike, and she asked me why I was in the city. I told her about BlogHer, and she seemed really interested. She asked if I’d met anyone cool, and I rambled about Dorothy Snarker, AfterEllen, and assumed she knew what I was talking about. She got excited because AfterEllen had just interviewed her a few months ago. I asked her how she was enjoying the city, and she said she was having fun. I then asked if I could take a MySpace picture with her (I’m obviously really cool) and she said sure. Then after I took it she asked me if I liked it. That was so unexpected and sweet, and I said yea, because, well, I already felt awkward bothering her. After all, she was another human being first and a celesbian second. She kept talking a bit, and then I said, “Okay, well, I’m not going to bother you anymore. Thank you so much! Enjoy your trip. Bye.” I then took off. (I’m noticing a pattern when I run into celesbians.)


GingerSass and Dani Shay… Need I say more?

4. The Fabulouso Panels

The panels were really freaking fantabulous. I’m not going to ramble about all of them because then I’ll be going on forever, but I was blown away by how well thought out, articulated, and amazing each and every panel session was. I learned so, so much, and I really wish BlogHer could’ve been longer so I could’ve learned more!

5. Being recognized by big name bloggers

It’s really cool when Big Name Bloggers recognize little name bloggers. I even wrote a blog about it.

6. Lunch with a Dragyn

I went to Lunch with a Dragyn, aka my first blogging friend, and I lived to tweet about it!

It was really nice to go to lunch with other bloggers and interact with others I knew online in person. I made a lot of fabulous friends that I hung out with throughout the conference, and I’m so glad Dana put it together!


picture courtesy of Dragyn! Check out her post that mentions the lunch here!

7. Being fancy and going to a rooftop party in Manhattan

On Thursday night, I went to the California Dreams party for single ladies. It was actually pretty fancy! I went with my new friend Jana, and we drank delicious wine on a Manhattan rooftop, spun a wheel to win some foot petals, and left with some swag bags of Avon products, vodka, and fun. I felt really elite that night.


Fanciness. That wine was divine, btw.

8. OMG my nails!

Sooo Kiss nails were one of the brands that made an appearance at BlogHer12. As a die hard nail polish addict, I was very interested in what they had to offer. You know what was really impressive? Their imPRESS nails! (pun somewhat intended.) (and no I’m not being paid to write about them)


YES THEY HAVE ZEBRA PRINT ON THEM!!! EEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

These nails take press on nails to a whole new level! I remember playing with press on nails as a kid and having them fall off almost immediately. With these, you look through the set and find the nail that fits your fingers. Each nail has little tabs on the back, which you peel off to reveal the glue stuff. The nails are amazing because they’re not, as I said to the woman who was getting her nails put on next to me, stereotypical 90s “hooker nails.” (No offense to anyone who may be a sex worker.) The nails are short enough that I can touch up my eye makeup without worrying about scratching my eyes out, I can close the clasps on my jewelry (a very big problem with fake nails usually!), and they’re just amazing.

The chick who put my nails on at the station set up at BlogHer said they’d last a week, and I immediately rolled my eyes. Lo and behold, they did last pretty long. I actually lost one after 2 days, but that was because it got stuck in my luggage on the subway. I went back, requested a new set, and put them on Sunday morning. It’s been 6 days, and they’re still holding strong! I’m going to take them off tonight because, well, I feel like it.

(Okay, I just took them off. I was able to peel them off AND THERE WAS HARDLY ANY GROSS GLUE RESIDUE! This is beyond awesome. I washed my hands, and what was left of the stickery glue stuff came off. I may be in love.)

These nails run for about $7.99 for a pack, and for someone like me who has a nailpolish addiction and is allergic to nailpolish remover, this is the perfect solution! They also come in a lot of super cute colors and patterns. Their website currently has coupon for $1 off… get on it!

9. Obama, Martha, and Katie, oh my!

President Obama, Martha Stewart, and Katie Couric all spoke at BlogHer12!

I have to confess I didn’t listen to Obama speak, and it wasn’t because I don’t like him. I think he’s pretty cool. I just didn’t see the point of cramming into a room to see him speak via video chat when everyone knew his speech was just going to be posted online anyways. I used that time to take a shower… I stunk. It was time well spent.

Martha Stewart was surprisingly funny and awesome. It turns out she was speaking to us ON HER BIRTHDAY. The room tried to sing happy birthday to her, and, well, it was a failed attempt. Martha was really fabulous, insightful, and quite generous. She gave every blogger present a year’s subscription to 4 of her emagazines, which I’m still trying to figure out if I can use or not because I don’t have an ipad. She also encouraged all of the bloggers present to email her their blogs so she could read them and share them on her site. She was pretty damn awesome. I said during the lunch I’d blog about why she reminds me of Tommy Pickles from Rugrats, but I’ll let you figure that out. (My mind works in funny ways.)

Katie Couric is pretty cool. Anyone who announces to a room full of women “I love the smell of estrogen in the morning!” as she walks on stage captures my attention. I honestly didn’t know much about Katie before seeing her speak at BlogHer12, and I’m so excited for her new show now. She truly wants to connect with her audience… She’s even having 2 bloggers in her studio every episode to live blog the episode! That is pretty awesome.

The one thing I didn’t like about her was how she discussed how she struggled with whether or not to stay at home with her kids when they were growing up, and how grateful she is to their nanny for doing such a good job raising them. That’s not a struggle… that’s a privileged point of view. A lot of women don’t have that option, they have to work 2-3 jobs to make ends meet, and staying at home isn’t an option. Having it all is a high class problem, not a struggle. /end rant

Other than that tidbit, Katie was pretty cool. I did like how she said “I start off every morning on Weight Watchers and I end every night off”…


I was a lot closer to Katie than I was to Martha.

10. Chi-town!

I’m heading to Chi-town, bitchesssss!

At the conclusion of BlogHer12, it was announced that BlogHer13 will be in CHICAGO!!! This got me very excited because a) I’ve never been to Chicago (or at least not since I was 18 months old), b) I have just under a year to save up and go to it, c) I’m forcing my friend Taylor to go with me, and d) my Grandpa’s family is from Illinois so I’m really excited to see “that neck of the woods.”

BlogHer12 was so amazing… I can hardly wait for BlogHer13!! <3

Validation that I’m Cool

I’m a fairly new blogger. I didn’t start GingerSass until this past March at the Sex, Love, and Dating Conference, and I was surprised by the sudden fanbase it had. (This was probably because some of my earliest posts had the tags “lesbian,” “sex,” “gingers,” and “AfterEllen.”) I’ve been continuously surprised that strangers– not just my friends– are fans of GingerSass on Facebook, and that I have more than 5 followers on Twitter.

Twitter is a funny thing. It allows you to interact with everyone from your best friend to your favorite soap star. Sometimes big names respond, and others don’t. I’ve been lucky enough to have had people like Amy Brenneman, Tammy Lynn Michaels, Cady McClain, and StaceyAnn Chin retweet and respond to some of my rambling responses to their tweets. These moments have made me feel incredibly special.


I’m still special enough to take MySpace photos of myself in the mirror.

You know what else had made me feel incredibly special? BlogHer12.

I had the opportunity to attend a lot of panels with some incredibly talented (and famed) bloggers. After each panel, people tended to line up to meet their blogger crushes.

I observed many post-panel meetings that went like this:

Session-Attendee: “OH-MI-GAWD!!! I’m so-and-so, I blog for so-and-so! I read your blog, like, every day! I especially loved your post about (enter post description here). I left you a comment, did you see it?! (Or ‘I tweeted you about ___________’.) Do you remember me??! I blog about _______________. ”

Big Name Blogger: (polite smile, handshake) “Oh, wow, that’s so kind of you. Thank you for following me. I’m glad you enjoyed this session, it’s so great to have met you.” (slyly moves on to next fangirl)

/end scene

Now, nothing against fangirls. I’ve been one. We all have. But really? You expect Big Name Bloggers to know who the hell you are? Big Name Bloggers get TONS of comments and tweets every day. They won’t remember you, and you shouldn’t expect them to… nor should you throw a hissy fit when they don’t remember you. Grow up!

I had a different fan girl attitude at the various blogging sessions and moments of meeting Big Name Bloggers. I didn’t expect any of them to know who I was… but I was raised in a household filled with manners. If you see someone you know someplace, even if you barely know them, it’s polite to acknowledge someone and say hi. People from the Twitterverse are kind of like friends of friends you run into at a party– you’re not sure if they know who you are or not, but you feel like a jerk if you don’t say hi.

For my first fangirl moment, I ran into a Big Name Blogger whose site I discovered a few months ago, and I’ve been addicted to since. We’ve had a few Twitter discussions, but I’d never met a Twitter friend in real life. I introduced myself, saying, “Hi, I’m Kailynn, or GingerSass–” before she cut me off, interrupted me, and said, “GingerSass?! You get a hug!!!” We drank, made dirty jokes, and hung out together at various points throughout the rest of the weekend.

It was exciting.

I also attended a panel where another Big Name Blogger was moderating. After the panel, I waited for some other fangirls to finish drooling and I quickly introduced myself, saying, “Hi, I’m Kailynn, or GingerSass. I didn’t get a chance to say hi to you last night, but I just wanted to say hi and how fabulous everything is!” I was told I was funny, that said Big Name Blogger had been following my tweets throughout the entire day, and that I had been making her laugh. I also got a hug.

Other exciting moments included going to a luncheon where, once I introduced myself, everyone said “Ohhhhhhh!”, continuously tellng people my real name, my blog name, and my Facebook name and having them say “Oh my God! That’s you?!”, running up to ‘strangers’ and hugging them because we recognized one another from the Twitterverse and Blogosphere, and telling people, “I’m GingerSass, but if you can’t remember that, remember my ass.”


I had a name badge.

People knew who I was, and it was CRAZY. It was also a really surreal form of validation that I’m doing something successful with my writing. I’m making a reputation for myself in the writing world in a way I never dreamt possible, and it feels incredibly surreal–and fantabulous– to be making my dreams come true.

(By the way, I’m sorry if this post seems any bit cocky. I just can’t believe people know who I am. It’s weird.)