GingerSass

adding ginger to your sass

GingerSass - adding ginger to your sass

Teacher Mean Girls

My first day of high school is tomorrow, and by first day of high school, I mean first day of school where I’m a teacher. It’s the “Teachers First Day,” which also means it’s a bunch of meetings and getting to know all the other teachers in the school. The students don’t start school until Monday.

Judgement Day

I’m more terrified for the Teachers First Day than for my first day with the students!

Now, don’t get me wrong. As a first year teacher, I am TERRIFIED for my first day of having a classroom of my own and having absolutely no back up. I’m scared of the judgement and challenges that will arise with teaching 100+ 11th graders. However, at the end of the day, I know that I will be able to leave confident in myself and my teaching abilities. I had a really incredible, challenging, phenomenal student teaching experience in an urban district where my cooperating teacher essentially let me have full reign of the class, and I think my experiences have me ready for almost anything in the classroom.

I’m just not ready for the other teachers.

In high school, I was the over-achieving, always-having-a-club-meeting, super involved, Honor student type nerd. I was full of insecurities I tried to hide, mainly as a result of my coming out process, and I tried incredibly hard to not care if I was cool or not. To an extent, I think, by chance, I was part of the cool crowd of the Honors kids.

Tomorrow, I’m going to school with no teaching experience. I’m brand new to the profession. I have an adorable-yet-definitely-not-subtle polka dot roller teacher bag. I’ve made a conscious decision to go back in the closet until I feel comfortable at my new job, even though I know my fellow teachers (and, goodness help me, students) can just Google my full name and find pages upon pages of me being an out lesbian poet. I trip over my own feet. I’m wearing heels that I forgot to break in, although they’re “comfort plus” heels that supposedly will give me more support. I’m straightening my hair at 6am, and I will probably forget to straighten a section. For goodness sake, I currently have neon pink zebra print nails.

nails

High school teachers are ten times worse than high school students. I’m about to have the heck judged out of me.

Wish me luck, people. I’m about to be the Lindsay Lohan meets Tina Fey of a high school.

Dear newbs

Dear BlogHer newbies,

Last year I was one of you. I had just started blogging regularly, and I was super duper excited to be going to BlogHer’12 in NYC, just a (theoretical) skip and hop away from Jersey. I went completely unsure of myself, not really knowing what to anticipate, and feeling like an awkward redheaded teen in the middle of puberty on the first day of high school.

It was kind of like looking like this in high school, except I wasn't 14 year old me dressed up as Napoleon Dynamite for Halloween.

It was kind of like looking like this in high school, except I wasn’t 15 year old me dressed up as Napoleon Dynamite for Halloween.

If you’re anything like I was last year, you’re following the #BlogHer13 hashtag, joining every possible Facebook group you can find, and super nervous and unsure if you’re worthy of going to BlogHer.

You might also have noticed that there are some nice groups, and some not-so-nice groups.

The nice groups are full of extremely friendly people, words of wisdom, people forming nonsensical inside jokes, and lots of “Don’t worry!” posts.

The not-so-nice groups are full of the blogging Plastics.

Plastics, Mean Girls

While I haven’t seen too many in the groups I belong to, they’re the ones who are constantly making others feel bad about not getting private party invites, not having a bajillion likes, fans, or followers, or not being paid bloggers.

The number of Plastics at BlogHer is so teeny tiny it’s not worth worrying about. Seriously.

Don’t sweat it if you’re not invited to a private party. Don’t freak out if (gasp) you have to pay for your own ticket, airfare, and hotel at BlogHer. Don’t be upset if only your mom and your best friend read your blog.

BlogHer is about meeting people, living life, and indulging in a life changing experience. You will leave BlogHer feeling exhausted, slightly hung over (unless you’re pregnant. Then totes give me your drink tickets.), and inexplicably fulfilled. You don’t need to be known by 50,000 people by the end of the conference. Set out to meet one new friend, and you’ll end up with a ton.

My biggest regret from my first BlogHer is not savoring it more. I worried too much about private parties and what others thought of me. I was self-conscious and convinced everyone knew that I was the new kid on the block. (And not in a cute Joey McIntyre sort of way!) My plan for this year’s BlogHer is to embrace as many BlogHer parties as possible, meet up with some of my favorite bloggers, and go home feeling like all is right in the world. I’m already starting to feel like I’ve regained my sense of direction and I haven’t even started packing for BlogHer yet!

So don’t worry. Don’t fret. Take a deep breath. Everything will be fine, and your BlogHer experience will be as fabulous as you make it. If you have a momentary freak out and need a hug, find me at the conference, and as long as my arms aren’t filled with three bags, a plate, and a a drink that can spill, I will welcome you with open arms.

Love,

Kailynn

(You can probably track me at BlogHer by tweeting me @THEGingerSass. Muahz.) 

This is what I look like when I have a headshot taken for grad school and insert a BlogHer thingy in the corner.

This is what I look like when I have a headshot taken for grad school and insert a BlogHer thingy in the corner.