Last week was a really traumatizing week for me. I tried to go clothes shopping for 3 days in a row, and I was either insulted or too fat for every store I entered. I’m currently right in between “regular” sizes and plus size clothing so this really didn’t add to my current body image issues.
I even ended up going through a traumatizing break up with Target. This was, by far, the worst part of last week. Target has been my go-to place for jeans and cute outfits since I was a teenager. Target has been my most consistent, reliable relationship for the past 10 years or so, and even when Target breached my sense of security and stability, I found it in my heart to work on our relationship and forgive them. I’ve been slowly working on making my way back into their stores following the holiday fiascos that made national headlines, and I even found myself rationalizing why “my Target” didn’t have a plus size section anymore two weeks ago (“It’s one of the smaller stores in the chain!”).
I have loved them deeply and inexplicably for years, and I found out, officially, at a “bigger store” last week that they have essentially stopped carrying plus size clothing. Instead, they’ve replaced the plus size racks with “Small” and “Extra-Small” clearance items, along with a line of bathing suits that seem to be promoting the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. I asked an employee, point blank, if Target had gotten rid of plus sizes. I was half-joking, not expecting the following response:
Yea. We haven’t had new plus sizes for awhile. We put all of them on clearance at the end of the season. Maybe we’ll get a new shipment in a few months, by the end of the summer.
Well, dang, that was heart breaking to hear. I found a piece on Jezebel that actually confirms this disastrous news to be true.
Eff you, beauty standards.
So, I took a leap of faith last week. I went to the mall to look for professional clothes for work, which usually makes me have angina. I found a cute blazer, but I really wanted to find a new dress. I stepped outside my comfort zone and into New York & Company, where I discovered that Eva Mendes loves me more than Spot, the forgotten Target dog, does. She has a super cute vintage-inspired spring clothing line THAT IS MEANT FOR GIRLS WITH CURVES. I fell in love with an adorable silky navy blue dress covered in polka dots and roses. I happily checked out, and I even opened a New York & Company card, which is something I’ve never EVER done with a mall store.
So, thank you, Eva Mendes, for justifying my girl-crush on you. Thank you for saying it’s okay to have curves. Thank you for making me feel human. And screw you Target for saying I’m not worthy of your time or money. We’re over.
(Before anyone asks, no, this is not a sponsored post. I’m just going through body image issues and Target actually sucks at comforting me. Thank God for Eva Mendes.)