GingerSass

adding ginger to your sass

GingerSass - adding ginger to your sass

Gratitudes

Tonight, as always, I’m grateful for so many things in my life. I have so much to be grateful for, and, instead of listing all the things that warm my heart, I’ll simply say it means the world to me to have been given so many opportunities in my life.

My gratitudes, each and every day.

My gratitudes, each and every day.

I’m a lucky girl.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. I hope it was warm and filled with love and happiness!

Remembering

Anaphora is a literary term for the practice of repeating certain words or phrases at the beginning of multiple clauses or, in the case of a poem, multiple lines.

I remember what led to the gingerbread latte.
I remember the chain draped across your sweater.
I remember wanting to run back but instead moving forward.
I remember taking the most important steps of my life.
I remember aimless walks and never-ending conversation.
I remember the newness and uncertainty of it all.
I remember being terrified and feeling like my heart was going to break
from bursting out of my chest
when it realized that it could synchronize with your love
and actually function without being smashed to smithereens.

 

Worst break up ever

Last week was a really traumatizing week for me. I tried to go clothes shopping for 3 days in a row, and I was either insulted or too fat for every store I entered. I’m currently right in between “regular” sizes and plus size clothing so this really didn’t add to my current body image issues.

I even ended up going through a traumatizing break up with Target. This was, by far, the worst part of last week. Target has been my go-to place for jeans and cute outfits since I was a teenager. Target has been my most consistent, reliable relationship for the past 10 years or so, and even when Target breached my sense of security and stability, I found it in my heart to work on our relationship and forgive them. I’ve been slowly working on making my way back into their stores following the holiday fiascos that made national headlines, and I even found myself rationalizing why “my Target” didn’t have a plus size section anymore two weeks ago (“It’s one of the smaller stores in the chain!”).

Even amongst a broken, abandoned, snow-filled heart, I found a way to love Target.

Even amongst a broken, abandoned, snow-filled heart, I found a way to love Target. I just didn’t realize I was giving as much as Target was taking.

I have loved them deeply and inexplicably for years, and I found out, officially, at a “bigger store” last week that they have essentially stopped carrying plus size clothing. Instead, they’ve replaced the plus size racks with “Small” and “Extra-Small” clearance items, along with a line of bathing suits that seem to be promoting the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. I asked an employee, point blank, if Target had gotten rid of plus sizes. I was half-joking, not expecting the following response:

Yea. We haven’t had new plus sizes for awhile. We put all of them on clearance at the end of the season. Maybe we’ll get a new shipment in a few months, by the end of the summer.

Well, dang, that was heart breaking to hear. I found a piece on Jezebel that actually confirms this disastrous news to be true.

Eff you, beauty standards.

There's something wrong with replacing women's clothes with "women's clothes" meant for a pre-pubescent 12 year old.

There’s something wrong with replacing women’s clothes with “women’s clothes” meant for a pre-pubescent 12 year old.

So, I took a leap of faith last week. I went to the mall to look for professional clothes for work, which usually makes me have angina. I found a cute blazer, but I really wanted to find a new dress. I stepped outside my comfort zone and into New York & Company, where I discovered that Eva Mendes loves me more than Spot, the forgotten Target dog, does. She has a super cute vintage-inspired spring clothing line THAT IS MEANT FOR GIRLS WITH CURVES. I fell in love with an adorable silky navy blue dress covered in polka dots and roses. I happily checked out, and I even opened a New York & Company card, which is something I’ve never EVER done with a mall store.20140325-165802.jpg

Much to my delight, when I was home sick today, I had on daytime television. Eva was on Ellen WEARING THE SAME DRESS THAT I BOUGHT FROM HER LINE.20140325-165819.jpg

So, thank you, Eva Mendes, for justifying my girl-crush on you. Thank you for saying it’s okay to have curves. Thank you for making me feel human. And screw you Target for saying I’m not worthy of your time or money. We’re over.

 

(Before anyone asks, no, this is not a sponsored post. I’m just going through body image issues and Target actually sucks at comforting me. Thank God for Eva Mendes.)