I have “Elsa nails” for my little cousin’s birthday party tomorrow.
Ish just got real.
I will be putting together a really fabulous prize pack of some of my favorite things. Think of it as me “pulling an Oprah,” only without sponsors or really expensive stuff. I’ll be putting together some of my favorite things this weekend (rubber ducky! snacks! fake nails! burning a mix cd of some of my favorite music! play doh! a poem on celesbianism! more things that still need to be determined! ).
One of my favorite things is trying on clothes and pretending to be the sort of girl who makes duckfaces at herself. Maybe I’ll send you a rubber ducky!
You have until April 4th to enter to win a taste of my awesomeness. This is my way of saying thank you for putting up with me and humoring my weirdness for the past year. I really, truly am grateful for all of you, and I can’t wait to see what else this sassy journey holds for us. <3 You da best.
So what are you waiting for? Use the Rafflecopter below to enter and win!
I’m more of a solid cotton underwear type of girl.
I was terrified to go to a Victoria’s Secret on my own, and I needed to pick up a pair of fake nails for going out tonight, so yesterday I decided to buy a pair of cheap, fancy underwear and a matching bra. I went to Walmart.
This probably should’ve been a sign of things to come.
I quickly sifted through the bras, looking for ones I wouldn’t be too embarrassed to be wearing if I was in a car accident, knocked unconscious, and the doctors and nurses at the hospital had to put me in a hospital gown. (Because this is logical thinking, people.) After I accomplished Mona’s challenge (well, sort of. I didn’t get fitted for a new bra but whatever. It’s still my size.), I found my fake nails and headed to the checkout lines… Where I was left floored.
Every single cashier was either a sweet-looking old lady or a sketchy looking old man.
I was buying a fancy bra/ undies set and fake nails.
That’s probably the trashiest scenario ever, and I probably didn’t look like I was a wholesome girl.
I probably looked like I was Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” before Richard Gere swept her off of her feet and changed her life forever.
It also didn’t help that I was wearing a shorter dress and boots on one of the coldest days EVER.
I felt like a slut.
I seriously panicked. I thought about buying a sweatshirt or a snuggie or SOMETHING, ANYTHING to go with my trashy purchases so I wouldn’t have little old ladies or sketchy old men thinking I was a prostitute.
Then I noticed a cashier who was in her 20’s and looked like she was pissed off that she was working at Walmart.
I got on her line, and suddenly I heard a voice say, “Kailynn!”
It was a friend of one of my former residents who unofficially became my resident. He knew me as a professional, mature, chick-in-charge sort of person. Our conversation went like this.
Me: Hey! How are you? (trying to fold up bra and hide it on register)
Him: Good, you?
Me: Good, good…
Him: So what are you buying?
Me: (without missing a beat) A lacy bra, some underwear, and fake nails.
Him: Uhhh… I gotta go. (quickly leaves)
Cashier (starts laughing hysterically for 5 minutes)
And that, folks, is why I prefer tighty whities and bras I bought in high school during a back to school sale at Kohl’s.
Thanks for the challenge, Mona!
The official #23til23 countdown wraps up tonight at midnight, but I’ve decided to make #23til23 something I participate in all year long. Send your challenges my way, people, and be sure to take a shot of tequila or rum for me tonight at midnight EST. 😉