adding ginger to your sass

GingerSass - adding ginger to your sass

Smart phone, smart relationship

I joined the smart phone world on December 29th, 2012, exactly 2 days before my first date with V.

I used my new phone as an excuse as to why I wasn’t texting back right away. I’m pretty sure my text said something along the lines of, “Oh, sorry! Just got a new phone, I’m still figuring it out!”

I was scared of what the new possibilities of going on a first date might hold, especially on New Year’s Eve. I remember specifically making plans to get coffee and walk around the mall at 2pm because that was a casual, committal, non-intense date time for a holiday.

I was terrified of getting hurt.

Two years later, I’ve never been more grateful for the experiences I’ve had with Val. So many of them have been recorded on my iphone4s that the idea of changing phones actually seems kind of heartbreaking to me.

Our first picture together, added to our history through my smart phone. :)

Our first picture together, added to our history through my smart phone. 🙂

Unfortunately, my phone has decided to stop charging. So, the upgrade I’m due for is necessary.

My new phone, which I’ll be getting on Thursday or Friday, is reflective of so much growth and change coming in the new year. I have 1.5 more days to be able to say “I’m getting married next year” instead of “I’ll be getting married later this year.” I’m turning 25 at the end of January. (!!!) I’ll be teaching a new class starting on Monday. Val & I will be moving into a condo together in the Spring.

I’m so glad I joined the smartphone world 2 years ago, and even gladder that I took a chance with Val.

If my past two years are any indication of what the next two will be, I can’t wait!

Are you going to have kids?

I’m back to babysitting/ nannying/ child-care-taking or whatever else you want to call it this summer. It’s the same wonderful kids I sat for last summer.

Today the kids asked me what my summer plans had been before I started watching them again, and I told them that I really had just planned on devoting this summer to planning our wedding. At this point they noticed my ring and got super excited. They then decided it was necessary to drill me on everything they could possibly ask me about my life, my fiancée, our wedding, and anything else that connected the two of us.

Then, they asked the one question I wasn’t prepared for, although I have been asked it dozens of times since I first became engaged:

Are you going to have kids?

Did You Know

I haven’t been asked this since I started dealing with some brand spankin’ new health issues this summer, and the question kind of gutted me. I’ve always wanted kids, but as recently as early Spring, before I started dealing with unexpected craziness, I’ve had this weird worry I haven’t been able to shake that I won’t be able to have kids. My latest doctor’s visit brought up the phrase “Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome,” which Google will immediately tell you is thought to be one of the leading causes of female infertility. Being asked if I’m going to have kids out loud for the first time since kids didn’t seem like an easy possibility was a mind-blowing experience, filled with irrational emotions, shaking, and potential tears.

So, today, after initially freezing for what felt like an eternity, with my mind racing all over, I responded as honestly as I could:

Maybe. I don’t know.

All I can say is thank goodness for sitting for a lesbian couple. The 12 year old immediately said, “Oooh! You could adopt babies and kids from all over!!!” The 9 year old, not to be outdone by the older sibling, responded, “ORRRR you could get a sperm donor! We’re from a sperm donor! We don’t know our sperm donor, but that’s how we got here!!” The kids then excitedly discussed how I could get a 7 foot tall giant as a sperm donor so my hypothetical babies could be basketball stars.

As odd as it was to have my “child options” reiterated to me by children, it was also oddly comforting. I don’t know what the future holds, or how I’ll get to mom-status, but I do know that I’ll get there one day, either through adoption or even potentially a 7 foot giant sperm donor. For now, I just need to adapt and get through this, one “Are you going to have kids?” at a time.