GingerSass

adding ginger to your sass

GingerSass - adding ginger to your sass

Same Sex Marriage Equality Expo

20140209-221158.jpg

Today I attended the Same Sex Marriage Equality Expo in NJ, put together by American Bridal Shows. It was the first time that a same sex wedding expo has been in the state since same sex marriage in New Jersey became legal.

V was supposed to come with me, but she had a bit of a set back in her recovery from surgery and needed to rest up at home so I was flying solo. I was a bit worried about flying solo, as I’m usually judged in predominantly gay settings because I “look like a straight girl.” I struggled with whether or not I should dress a bit more casual than girly during the expo, and in the end I ended up wearing my usual girly gear. I noticed that a lot of vendors gave me more attention than couples walking around, and that couples were sort of giving me the is-she-straight and why-is-she-here looks. Eh. It is what it is.

Overall, the Expo was a bit overwhelming. V had said we should go in with a game plan, but when I realized she was staying home my game plan became “walk around aimlessly and hope for the best.” I met a lot of interesting vendors today, and I even found a few that might be a good match up for our wedding! There were some fun things going on, like a dance party and entertainment demo, and a wedding fashion show. I wish the fashion show had been more diverse in offering a wider variety of options of clothing, but I also realize there were only 60 vendors at the Expo.

I’m getting a little tired so I’ll list my top favorite things and my top suggestions.

3 Favorites Things:

  1. I really liked how friendly all of the vendors were. Even if they seemed a little unsure of how to approach same sex couples, they were all excited about being there.
  2. The expo was small and intimate. It was definitely possible to see all of the vendors, although I didn’t. There was a wide variety of vendors, from venues and catering to realtors and financial planners. The expo wasn’t just about planning a wedding– it was about planning a life. That was really nice.
  3. It was free! This sounds kind of cheap, but the expo being free was a definite plus, especially since nobody knew what they were getting into this first year. That definitely drew more people in.

3 Suggestions:

  1. Please have a hashtag next year! This sounds a little silly, and maybe it’s the blogger in me coming out, but the consistency of a hashtag is much appreciated in the social media age. It also connects vendors and expo attendees a lot easier.
  2. I wish that more of the vendors had catered to the same sex couples at the expo. Even though everyone was all “YAY CONGRATS!!”, a large number of the vendors showed off their skills with pictures and videos of all of the happy heterosexual couples they’ve worked with. There were also a lot of forms that only said “Bride and Groom.” It would have felt a lot more welcoming if the forms said “Bride or Groom” and “Bride or Groom,” with the option to circle what was applicable.
  3. Have more vendors and a bigger area! The Expo center was being shared with a pet expo, and the same sex wedding crowd only got 3 rooms, probably the equivalent of a high school gym in total length. It was a little crowded, and more space would’ve been wonderful… It also would have been great if the vendors were clumped together a little more logistically. At first it seemed like they were clumped by category, but I think that was just coincidence.

All in all, I had a really nice time at the Same Sex Marriage Equality Expo (dang that’s a mouthful!). This 2015 bride looks forward to returning next year and seeing it grow into something bigger and even better.

Note: This post was NOT sponsored. I just felt like blogging about this one-of-a-kind event!

 

Engaygement Questions

"Congrats! You're engayged! Now let me ask you a ton of personal, inappropriate questions!"

“Congrats! You’re engayged! Now let me ask you a ton of personal, inappropriate questions!”

Now that I’ve been engayged for a whopping 2 months, most of the people in my life know that I’m engayged. However, when a new person finds out about my news, I’m usually asked a series of– dare I say it– stupid or inappropriate questions about my engaygement. Now, some of these questions are typical of any enga(y)gement, but there are a few that seem to be focusing on the fact that there are 2 brides in my engaygement story.

Here are the top 10 Enga(y)gement questions I’ve regularly been asked:

  1. Do your parents know?

    No. I’ve decided to not tell my parents one of the biggest pieces of news in my entire life.(Yes, they do know.)

  2. Are your parents happy for you?

    No. They think it’s horrible that I’ve found someone who loves me, treats me like a queen, and is an all around amazing person to spend my life with. It really upsets them.(They’re super excited! V actually asked for their blessings before she proposed and they’re very happy to be welcoming her into our family.)

  3. Who proposed to who? Was it weird?

    V proposed to me. Our engaygement was a little weird, but only because I was being super romantic and saying how there were dead Mobster bodies in the moonlit water front V was proposing to me by. The whole girlfriend proposing to me thing wasn’t weird because– imagine this– it was romantic and I love her.

  4. Who gets the bridal shower?

    When there are two brides, I imagine the brides get the bridal shower. Also…a lot of people are now choosing to do “Wedding Showers” where both parties are invited to the shower.

  5. Will both of you wear a dress?

    If you’re asking me this you probably haven’t met my fiancée, who hasn’t worn a dress in years. We’ll both wear what we’re comfortable wearing, which will most likely be a frilly, lacy dress for me and a slick looking tux for V.

  6. Did you get engayged because it’s legal (in New Jersey)  now? Did you know it’s legal now?

    We got engayged because V got down on one knee, asked me to marry her, and I said yes because I love her.Yes, I did know it’s legal now. It was just a coincidence that we can now be considered human beings and legally get married in our home state.

  7. Have you set a date?

    Okay, this is the one question I always have an answer to: Yes. We both want a fall wedding, and we both want to be able to actually afford our wedding, so, as long as we can officially book it at the venue, we’re aiming to get married on Sunday, November 1st, 2015.

  8. Are there only going to be girls in your wedding?

    Well, believe it or not, lesbians actually know people who do not identify as females. For example, both V & I have brothers who will be a part of our wedding. Also, our wedding will consist of “our people,” not the bridesmaids or groomsmen.

  9. Can you get married in a church? Will you get married in a church? Can you even find a pastor who will marry you?

    I’m sure we can get married in a church. Can you tie your shoe?We won’t get married in a church, but mainly because we found our dream venue where we can hold both our ceremony and our reception.

    I’m sure we can find a pastor who would marry us. We even have a Deacon friend who has offered to, although we would like her to be a part of our wedding party.

  10. Who’s going to have the babies?
    How are you going to have babies?
    When are you going to have babies?

    Oy vey. I hate the baby question. WE’LL PROCREATE WHEN WE WANT, PEOPLE.I’ll probably pop out the spawn.

    I’ll probably get knocked up.

    I’ll probably have spawn after 9 months of incubation in my womb, give or take.

    If this doesn’t work out, we’ll look at other options. We both want to have kids one day, but, when you’re a lesbian, these things take time and planning.

What questions were you constantly asked when you became engaged or engayged??