GingerSass

adding ginger to your sass

GingerSass - adding ginger to your sass

Tag Archives: dating

#23til23: Expecting the unexpected

23til23

Today I didn’t do much of anything. I slept in. I became glued to the news coverage of the ferry crash in Manhattan this morning. I picked up some paperwork to complete, and I went grocery shopping. I treated myself to some “fancy cheese” and pita chips, and I left the grocery store with a smile on my face.

Then I realized the smile on my face wasn’t because of the cheese, although that definitely was a factor, but because I am actually happy for the first time in awhile. Actually, that’s a lie– I’ve been happy. But, for the first time in awhile, I am happy with every single aspect of my life.

So far, 2013 has been quite the journey. I rang in the year with the people who gave me life– my parents– and my dog, and it has been a whirlwind of happiness since. #23til23 began. I have found myself enjoying the little things, planning big adventures, and overall really appreciating every day since I began this journey.

You know what else I’ve enjoyed?

Seeing the love and support of my friends in my happiness.

I went “Facebook official” on Sunday night that I was in a relationship, and you would’ve thought the world exploded with the amount of love and support I received from my friends on Facebook. Then I tweeted the following, and I received even more love from my twitter followers and blogging friends.

Screen Shot 2013-01-09 at 11.49.30 PM

All of this is still very new to me, as I was just bitching about being single at Christmastime a few weeks ago! (Oddly enough, that’s one of my most viewed posts…)

My girlfriend, who shall be known as V from henceforth on, is genuinely sweet, kind, caring, and wonderful. She treats me like a princess, which is something I’m not used to. The fact that she actually cares about me, is happy for me when I succeed, and is very supportive of me as a blogger and writer BLOWS MY MIND. I actually texted her asking if I could mention her on my blog because she makes me happy, and she responded, “I’m flattered actually. Thanks for asking, and yes, that’s fine with me!” A moment later, she added, “Flattered may not even be the right word… honored? Blown away? lol”

GingerSass has become my baby, and the fact that I have a girlfriend that supports my baby and encourages me with its growth and development is mindblowing to me. It’s also mindblowing to have had someone so wonderful come into my life so unexpectedly. So, for today’s #23til23 moment, I’m totally going all braggy about my gf.

Also, she has two really adorable dogs who have quickly become my best friends.

Life is good.

What else could a girl ask for, expect maybe some more #23til23 challenges? ;)

What the what?!

So a few weeks ago, as a joke and a social experiment, I posted a personal ad on CL looking for my Liz Lemon.

(Click here to see that post.)

The ad read:

I’m a SWF full time grad student looking for my Liz Lemon. Be a nerd. Play The Sims. Have a love of food. Read obscure books. Don’t be afraid to be awkward. Save truly awkward scenarios by being even more awkward and embarrassing yourself. Be that endearing nerd that everybody loves, and win me over with your quirks. Be Liz Lemon… but with confidence. (Because, you know, you’re awesome if you’re a real life Liz Lemon.) I want to go there.

Ask me out, and let’s go grab some coffee, people watch, and make up stories about the people as we watch them. Who knows? Maybe we’ll find we love each other’s company and get to know each other better. If not… blurgh. 

Hope to hear from you soon :)   

I really wanted to see what sorts of people would respond to a CL post from someone looking for a Liz Lemon. (Because, at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want?)

So far, I’ve gotten one message from a guy offering to have me in a threesome, one chick that sounds like Tracy Jordan (“hey whats up babygirl just passin thru making new friends..what do u say we get together n have some fun? ;) ” ), quite a few chicks looking for their first time with another woman, a few people who did not understand my 30 Rock references and thought I was a sad, pathetic soul looking for pity/ a sugar mama, and, finally, someone WHO ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT MY PERSONAL AD WAS A JOKE! She was snarky, made 30 Rock jokes about my ad, and asked if I could tell her a little bit about the real me.

I think Liz Lemon may have just met her match.

What the what?!

Dating Tips & Tricks: Send them in!

Sooo I’ve decided to do something very exciting in honor of the 3 month anniversary of me owning www.GingerSass.com:

I’m going to post a video blog!

And not just any video blog… a video blog where I share your tricks & tips in the dating world! (I’m gearing this more towards the lesbian dating world, but hey, if you don’t fall into this category, feel free to contribute nonetheless! The more advice the merrier!) Do you have a specific way you pout to pick up women? Do you play hard to get? Do you just be yourself from the get-go? When do you pull out the short skirts and high heels? What’s a sure-fire way to land a second date?

Fill out the form below, submit your tips and tricks, and let the fun unfold! Thanks for your help! :)

[contact-form][contact-field label='Name' type='name' required='1'/][contact-field label='Email' type='email' required='1'/][contact-field label='Website' type='url'/][contact-field label='Comment' type='textarea' required='1'/][/contact-form]

A rare post about dating realizations

I went on a date last week for the first time in months. It was supposed to just be coffee, maybe an hour tops, and it lasted three hours. We had a lot of fun people watching, and being snarky assholes. The whole time, however, something was bothering me. I’ve never dealt with this before.

The girl I was out on a date with wasn’t out to her family, only to a few friends, and she didn’t plan on ever being out.

I’ve never been a dirty little secret before, although I’ve made other people be my dirty little secret. This, mixed with a few other pet peeves of mine that are absolute deal breakers, convinced me to not go out with this girl again.

Today, I started thinking about a random slew of things. When I went through my old phone to find someone’s number, I stumbled upon saved texts from my ex girlfriend. When things were good, they were good. When they were bad, well, they were baaaaad.

I realize she put up with a lot while she was with me. I was 19 when we started dating, and she was 27. I wasn’t out to my family. I identified as a tomato. I was underage and couldn’t go to bars. I was a socially awkward ginger still in college. Who in their right mind decides to start dating that? Haha.

It’s weird to me now to think that I am now, essentially in the same situation my ex was when we started dating. I’m over 21, a college graduate, out to my family (minus some extended but close enough), still awkward, a lesbian, and a huge fan of happy hours. I cannot even process dating someone under 21, let alone someone still a teenager, or someone who is hardly out. I’m at a different stage in my life than anyone who is underage, not out, and in college still. I’m pursuing my Masters degree. I’m thinking about my future because, in a year, I will legitimately be an adult.

I want to date other adult women.

Weird.

Now, I am always attracted to women older than me so being under 21 isn’t a problem. What’s weird is the older women I’m attracted to almost always are just starting college or going back to school.

In five years, I’ll be 27 going on 28. (!!!) I see myself settling down, (maybe) being a homeowner, having a pet dog, having a career in the education field, potentially being married, and thinking of starting a family. Is this logical dreaming? Some of it is. Do I recognize that these dreams may not be a reality? Of course. One of the most important things I’ve learned this past year is that sometimes you realize that the hopes and dreams you once had may not happen, and this may feel like you’re experiencing the death of a loved one…but at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that you can still have the hopes and dreams you once wanted, just a little differently.

Thank you for reading this ramble, and if you know of any eligible adult women who meet my picky criteria…feel free to send them my way. ;)

Sex, Love, and Dating Conference: Before Thoughts

So I’m dedicating my Sunday to the Sex, Love, and Dating Conference at Rutgers. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend last year when Frank Warren was the surprise guest speaker, but this year I am lucky enough to be able to attend.

Megan Andelloux  is this year’s opening speaker, and for those of you who live under a rock (or lack the ability to google things), she’s awesome. Megan is the founder and director of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, which is as awesome as it sounds. I’m just going to copy & paste her bio from her website, as my coffee and allergy meds haven’t completely kicked in yet today.

Who’s Oh Megan?

She is a nationally Certified Sexuality Educator (CSE) through The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, an HIV educatorand a Board Certified Sexologist through The American College of Sexologists.

Ms. Andelloux worked for nine years as a youth-focused sexuality educator in NY, RI, CT, and NJ before bringing her love for teaching at a locally run feminist sex-shop in Providence, RI. It was there that she began to notice adults did not have a space to ask questions and learn about sexuality. She also noticed adults hold many of the same questions teens do when it comes to sexual issues, and so she merged into working in the world of adult sexuality education.

She is a regular contributor for various media sources, a sought-after sexuality consultant for medical organizations, and an contributing author in the books “We Got Issue: A Feminist Response to Cultural Attitudes On Feminism” and “Sex and Society,” a comprehensive guide to current knowledge and expert analysis of sexand sexuality.

Ms. Andelloux was named ” Vagina Warrior of the Year” from the Vagina Monologues for her work regarding sexual communication and fear reduction. She has been labeled by the Rhode Island press as “The Princess of Pleasure” and more recently, “The Sex Ed Warrior Queen” as she is on a mission to promote sexual health, wellness, and communication.

Ms. Andelloux lectures internationally at colleges, universities, medical schools, and sexuality institutions on issues surrounding sexual pleasure, sexual health, politics, and erotic justice.

So, as you can gather, I’m super excited for this conference! I got here super early, and was delighted to find the centerpiece below at my table:

Yes, folks, that is a beautiful assortment of flowers, candy, condoms, lube, and free vibrators. (I already snagged one, thanks for asking.) If this is any indication of what’s to come, I’m excited to see where my day goes.

Stay tuned for my sexual adventures today! (When else can I post that??)