GingerSass

adding ginger to your sass

GingerSass - adding ginger to your sass

I can’t quit you, BlogHer.

I have this weird relationship with BlogHer. In an odd sort of way, BlogHer is like an unexpected first relationship.

I went to Ginger's Bar, I met the Jimmy Dean sun, I met Dani Shay, and I met the Lorax at BlogHer12.

I went to Ginger’s Bar, I met the Jimmy Dean sun, I met Dani Shay, and I met the Lorax at BlogHer12.

I first went to BlogHer12 when it was in New York City, and I felt kind of overwhelmed. Even though it was in my backyard, it was still mind-boggling. Blogging was new to me, and I hadn’t quite gotten the hang of it, but OMG everything was new and shiny and the people there GOT MY WEIRDNESS.

Photo Credit: The BlogHer ’13 Fashion Show brought to you by Ulta.

Photo Credit: The BlogHer ’13 Fashion Show brought to you by Ulta.

When BlogHer13 happened, I was a lot more confident in my blog, and myself. The conference was less new and shiny and more about enjoying the intimacy of being able to be with My People. I went out of my comfort zone by being a model in a fashion show, but, outside of that, I stuck to the familiarity of people I had grown accustomed to.

a suitcase full of some of my poetry books

how I spent BlogHer14: POETRY BOOKS

By the time BlogHer14 rolled around, I was kind of tired and jaded. I couldn’t swing flying out to San Jose for a blogging conference– especially after my first year of teaching, student loan debt, and saving for a wedding. I tried to make it work, and for a brief second it looked like it might, but then my logic came back and I realized BlogHer14, my wallet, and I just weren’t a good mix anymore. It just wasn’t our time.

I’ve kind of been feeling “over” BlogHer, or maybe just over my blog, but then two things happened: 1. I decided to partake in November’s NaBloPoMo, and 2. it was announced that BlogHer15 would be back in my backyard in NYC. I kind of feel like I’m (maybe) going back to an old relationship that I’m not entirely sure about. (It’s feeling like my college years! Ha.) I’m not sure if I’m the same blogger– or person– I was a year or two ago. It’s been more of an effort than a joy to be a sassy ginger. I’ve had more fun connecting with people in the wedding industry on GayBrideGuide. Heck, I don’t even know if I actually will make it to BlogHer15, although I can’t imagine knowing the conference is happening so closeby and being able to stay away.

BlogHer, I can’t quit you.

Scrambling

Prompt: Write a list poem starting with “I am…”

I am... unsure of why anyone would interview me as I was trying desperately to figure out how to save my iphone from imminent doom.

I am… unsure of why anyone would interview me as I was trying desperately to figure out how to save my iphone from imminent doom.

I am…

unable to think of a fitting description of myself for this poetic prompt.

I could write about my teacher identity,
but that’s already been the accidental focus of my poetry lately.

Perhaps I could write about my declaration of fiery, ginger glory,
but I am only minimally defined by my hair color.

It is possible to write about my lesbian poet label,
but, really, anything I write falls under that category by default.

Mayhaps you would like to learn of the summer in high school
where a friend and I only spoke in British slang. We were the dog’s bollocks.

Ooh! I’d like to tell you how I’m convinced my dog is a drag queen,
but one simple search of “Max the Dog” confirms that.

My caffeine addiction would make an interesting topic,
but a post about “addiction” would lead to unwanted spam in my inbox.

If you’d like to learn something fascinating,
we could discuss my one-night-gig as a fashion model from Jersey.

I should probably write something insightful,
something that has changed me for the better…or worse…

I know! You’d really like to know about my phobia
of flapping pigeons at night…?

Alas, perhaps it is best if we smile politely
and pretend this prompt didn’t happen.

After all, I really don’t know how to define myself in this hodge-podge of tidbits floating around in my head.
Do you?

My Modeling Debut

BlogHer’13 was amazing. I left feeling very tranquil and at peace, and I’m already missing the lovely ladies I spent time with this weekend.

The BlogHer'13 Models. Photo courtesy of Danielle Tsi photography and BlogHer.com.

The BlogHer’13 Models. Photo courtesy of Danielle Tsi photography and BlogHer.com.

Much to my amazement, I made my BlogHer modeling debut on Saturday and I didn’t fall on my face. I didn’t vomit on stage. I didn’t fall over in the dressing room trying to put Spanx on.

Instead, I met an amazing group of diverse women I never would have met otherwise. We all, for the most part, stepped outside our comfort zones and wore things we maybe never would have worn or had our hair and makeup done in ways we didn’t know it could be done.

The Wifi struggle. Photo courtesy of Danielle Tsi photography and BlogHer.com.

The Wifi struggle. Photo courtesy of Danielle Tsi photography and BlogHer.com.

We bonded over our opinions of high fashion, the overall consensus that “the models need wine,” and the horrifying fact that the hotel basement where we got ready didn’t have wifi. (Gasp!)

During my fitting on Thursday afternoon, I definitely felt like a self-conscious Barbie doll. I tried on probably close to 7 or 8 different outfits, dozens of pieces of jewelry, and felt a bit vulnerable to the amazing stylists trying to find a look for me. We laughed and joked around, but it felt bizarre to casually be trying on outfits for a couple of strangers. I didn’t know what I would be wearing until the day of the show, although I was kind of rooting for a red ball gown that made me feel like a princess.

On the afternoon of the show, after practicing walking the runway and being very self-aware of how I was walking, I found out I’d be wearing the last outfit I had tried on during my fitting– a leopard print shirt from Vive La Femme, Levi dark denim jeans, a Mint Julep denim jacket, a cute necklace from Comfort Me, and cute golden kitten heel pumps from A Pied.

Photo Credit: The BlogHer ’13 Fashion Show brought to you by Ulta.

Photo Credit: The BlogHer ’13 Fashion Show brought to you by Ulta.

 

I wasn’t sure what to expect with the show, but my experience was a whirlwind of excitement and amazingness. Ulta had a really phenomenal team of hair and makeup stylists making each of us “models” feel like a million bucks. They made my hair curly like a pin-up girl’s, and they did a really incredible job of doing my makeup. The whole process reminded me of my 13 years of dance recitals and the hours it would take to get ready for those, only with less hair spray.

Right before the show, I felt like  completely different person. I didn’t look like the “me” I’ve become slightly critical of lately, and I was wearing a skin tight outfit that actually looked decent on me. (Thank you, Spanx!) More than once I was told I looked “sassy” and “badass,” which were definitely fun ways to be described.

As I stepped out onto the stage, something came over me. I lost any inhibitions I had felt about being in the show, and I had a genuinely good time walking the runway. I goofed around a bit with a silly pose, and the crowd went wild. I heard an insane amount of cheering, and although I couldn’t see anyone with all of the flashes going off, I knew that my friends and favorite bloggers were standing there cheering me on.

Going to BlogHer is an incredibly empowering and gratifying feeling in itself. Being in the BlogHer Fashion Show took this feeling to an entirely new level. I can’t even begin to put into words what a difference the show made in my life and self-image, and I will be forever grateful that I had the courage to say yes to Elisa when she asked me to be a model.

A special thanks goes out to Darlene, Sarissa, Rafiki, and Iman for putting so much work and effort into the Fashion Show! You ladies are an amazing team and definitely made me feel like a million dollars!