In the latest #23til23 challenge, the lovely brains behind DeadCowGirl challenged me to add fanciness to my underwear drawer.
I’m more of a solid cotton underwear type of girl.
I was terrified to go to a Victoria’s Secret on my own, and I needed to pick up a pair of fake nails for going out tonight, so yesterday I decided to buy a pair of cheap, fancy underwear and a matching bra. I went to Walmart.
This probably should’ve been a sign of things to come.
I quickly sifted through the bras, looking for ones I wouldn’t be too embarrassed to be wearing if I was in a car accident, knocked unconscious, and the doctors and nurses at the hospital had to put me in a hospital gown. (Because this is logical thinking, people.) After I accomplished Mona’s challenge (well, sort of. I didn’t get fitted for a new bra but whatever. It’s still my size.), I found my fake nails and headed to the checkout lines… Where I was left floored.
Every single cashier was either a sweet-looking old lady or a sketchy looking old man.
I was buying a fancy bra/ undies set and fake nails.
That’s probably the trashiest scenario ever, and I probably didn’t look like I was a wholesome girl.
I probably looked like I was Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” before Richard Gere swept her off of her feet and changed her life forever.
It also didn’t help that I was wearing a shorter dress and boots on one of the coldest days EVER.
I felt like a slut.
I seriously panicked. I thought about buying a sweatshirt or a snuggie or SOMETHING, ANYTHING to go with my trashy purchases so I wouldn’t have little old ladies or sketchy old men thinking I was a prostitute.
Then I noticed a cashier who was in her 20’s and looked like she was pissed off that she was working at Walmart.
I got on her line, and suddenly I heard a voice say, “Kailynn!”
It was a friend of one of my former residents who unofficially became my resident. He knew me as a professional, mature, chick-in-charge sort of person. Our conversation went like this.
Me: Hey! How are you? (trying to fold up bra and hide it on register)
Him: Good, you?
Me: Good, good…
Him: So what are you buying?
Me: (without missing a beat) A lacy bra, some underwear, and fake nails.
Him: Uhhh… I gotta go. (quickly leaves)
Cashier (starts laughing hysterically for 5 minutes)
And that, folks, is why I prefer tighty whities and bras I bought in high school during a back to school sale at Kohl’s.
Thanks for the challenge, Mona!
The official #23til23 countdown wraps up tonight at midnight, but I’ve decided to make #23til23 something I participate in all year long. Send your challenges my way, people, and be sure to take a shot of tequila or rum for me tonight at midnight EST. 😉