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13 Things I can say that Taylor Swift can’t

Taylor Swift’s new album, 1989, came out on October 27th. It was a very Monday feeling Monday so I ran to my local Target, bought the deluxe version, and have been blasting Taylor’s album during my commute for the past two weeks. One of the first things that struck me about 1989, other than how catchy it was, was how Taylor reminisces about polaroids. (Fun fact: the deluxe album give you a random pile of polaroids “from Taylor” to enjoy.)

Taylor. You were (barely) born in 1989. You’re basically a 90s baby. Maybe we had very different childhoods, with you growing up on a Christmas tree farm and me growing up in the suburbs of central New Jersey, but I don’t really remember Polaroid cameras being a big part of my childhood. Disposable cameras and cameras from Fisher Price, yes. Polaroids, not so much. I only (vaguely) remember the Polaroid I-Zone sticker camera coming out when I was in the 4th or 5th grade.

Anyway. I digress.

Thinking about your need to pretend you’re actually older than you are, Taylor, made me draw parallels between our lives. You were born one month and thirteen days before me, so perhaps you can claim more wisdom and life experiences than myself, but it kind of blows my mind that we’re both 24 and you’re so much more (monetarily) successful than myself. I’m a Swiftie through and through, but, as I approach my 25th birthday in January, it kind of stings to know that a singer only 46 days older than me is doing so much better with her bank account.

So, I decided to think about it, and I’ve come up with a list of 13 things I can say that you, Taylor Swift, cannot. I hope this doesn’t make you hate me, and maybe one day we can knit, bake, and drink hot chocolate together, but I really needed to put my life in perspective.

13 Things I can say that Taylor Swift can’t

  1. I once won a Rocks, Paper, Scissors competition between 250+ people.
  2. I inadvertently become an out and open lesbian/ lgbt activist when I started hanging out with “the gays” in college.
  3. I’ve graduated from college (and grad school). I even graduated with a 4.0 GPA from grad school.

    Rutgers Graduate School of Education, Class of 2013!

    Rutgers Graduate School of Education, Class of 2013!

  4. I was a model in a blogging fashion show for women of all sizes.
    Kailynn-Barbour-Vive-La-Femme-Leopard-shirt
  5. I started a website for same-sex brides to be, and it’s doing quite well. 🙂
  6. I found my true love while feelin’ 22.
  7. When I was 23, I become engaged during a romantic getaway in Mystic Seaport.

    Our engagement weekend <3

    Our engagement weekend <3

  8. I once had Janet Mock technically act as an opening act for a session I was leading at a conference with my friend, Stacy.
  9. I’m currently helping a bunch of teenagers start a slam poetry club.
  10. Sen. Cory Booker follows me on Twitter. He started following me after I called him the Chuck Norris of my generation.

    Cory Booker: the Chuck Norris of my generation

    Cory Booker: the Chuck Norris of my generation

  11. I organized a field trip for 42 urban high school students to go to a poetry festival… AND I did not have to take a single cell phone away during the trip.
  12. I do not wear bright red lipstick, unless I’m dressing up as Lucille Ball for “Celebrity Look Alike Day” during Spirit Week.

    Rickyyyyyyy

    Rickyyyyyyy

  13. I grew up in the Jersey suburbs, and I’m proud to be a Jersey girl.

At least I know Taylor Swift will never be a Jersey girl. Now excuse me, I’m going to go listen to her cd for the 50,000th time in the past 2 weeks…