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Twas the night before BlogHer…

Twas the night before BlogHer…
(a BlogHer12 poem by Kailynn)

Twas the night before BlogHer, when all through the town
the air was filled with all sorts of packing sounds.
The luggage was placed by the door with care,
and the blogger checked that she had perfect hair.

When the blogger finally laid down in her bed,
visions of everything she’d forgotten danced in her head.
Every forgotten item elicited sighs and moans
so she set reminders for the morning in her phone.

In the middle of the night she arose with such clatter,
as she had posts to write and had almost forgotten the matter.
Away to the her MacBook she flew with a flash,
writing with finesse, hoping her rambles weren’t trash.

The sun finally rose and it was almost time to go.
Unfortunately the coffee pot was being incredibly slow.
Then, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature caravan, and a driver that seemed very queer.

The little old driver, so lively and quick,
she knew in a moment she might get sick.
For BlogHer started in only a few hours,
and it didn’t seem as if he had fast-driving powers!

“Hey lady! Yes you! Are you ready to hit the road?
Why do you need 4 bags? This is a heavy load.
You’re giving out swag to one and to all?
I might as well be driving a giant brick wall.”

The old man loaded her bags and told her to wave goodbye,
for it was time to go to New York, time to fly!
So up the highway they sailed with ease,
with the car full of swag and blogger goodies.

The driver was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all tarnished with cigarette ashes and soot.
A bundle of keys he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a badass, if not a bit whack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! His face was quite hairy!
His voice was like honey, his singing like that of a canary!
His little mouth was turned into a semi-frown,
And the beard of his chin was a salt-and-peppered brown.

The butt of a cigarette he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a scarred face and a huge, sweaty belly,
That shook when he coughed, like a bowl full of jelly!

He drove and he drove, hardly saying a word.
It was probably because he was a bit absurd.
The blogger grinned and took a few notes.
When she had wifi again he’d make a great anecdote.

She wrote and she wrote, thinking of more to say.
She couldn’t wait to meet others who thought the same way.
They would laugh and sing and be a merry crew…
With booze and other bloggers what else could they do?

Then, in a flash, New York came into sight.
The blogger got so excited at this special delight.
She was a step closer to having the time of her life…
maybe if she played her cards right she’d come home with a wife.

They got to the hotel, and the driver sprang out to get the blogger’s bags.
The blogger grinned ear to ear and looked at all of the BlogHer flags.
She tipped the driver quite nicely, and as he drove off out of site,
she could hear him sing “Happy BlogHer to all, and to all a good-night!”

  • Ashley Nichole Toten says:

    Roses are red,
    My sight is now striped,
    Your writing is uproarious,
    I will go to bed giggling tonight.

    August 2, 2012 at 4:45 am

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