I’m supposed to be working on my “evocative writing piece.” Well, screw this shit. I physically cannot pick a single narrative piece I want to write about right now. I’ve done that in the past. In my senior year of high school, I wrote a long narrative piece on the death of my grandpa, Buster, who practically raised me. For Fiction, I spent a lot of the semester working on a story based on the tumultuous lives of various lesbians I know. I’m sick of picking a single event and writing a long piece about it… mainly because I don’t want to talk anymore about myself. I hate talking about myself. When I’m forced to talk about myself in my writing, I get super self-conscious and try to pretend it’s someone else. Let’s be real… 99% of my writing is about me. I’m egotistical, and writing about myself and my problems helps me cope and deal with the emotions of everyday life.
I can’t handle this right now. My head is killing me. I’m distracted. I have to buy a bridesmaid’s dress for a wedding at the end of the month that I honestly forgot was at the end of THIS month… and that I don’t have a date to. I’m very distracted by my professor’s awesome fauxhawk. If I hadn’t sworn off hitting on professors, I’d consider hitting on her at the end of the semester. (Actually, probably not. I think she has a partner.) Her mac screen just came up on the overhead…. it’s from Sunday. At Asbury Park. For Jersey Pride. It doesn’t scream “GAY LESBIAN WOMAN!” but I know. Lesbians always know. We’re like the CIA or FBI. Actually, FBI, for the sole purpose of remembering those t-shirts from the early 2000’s that said, “FBI: Female Body Inspector.” I’ve spent the last ten minutes listening to Melissa Etheridge, Bon Jovi, Mariah Carey, and Adele. I responded to an OKC message I got during class. My life does not get more pathetic than this very moment. It’s a good thing the professor just said our time is up for writing because I honest to God cannot think of another thought to put down on my computer…except that I really could go for an iced coffee right now. God my head is killing me.