GingerSass

adding ginger to your sass

GingerSass - adding ginger to your sass

Writing is tough.

Writer's block feels like that time my cell phone died in my sophomore year of college right before finals.

Writer’s block feels like that time my cell phone died in my sophomore year of college right after midterms.

I can’t quite articulate why I’ve found it so difficult to write these past few months, mainly because I don’t actually know.

I started this blog when I was a senior in college, in the midst of taking graduate courses, getting ready to graduate from undergrad, start student teaching, and trying to cope with my social anxieties the only way I knew how: sarcasm.

Three years later, I’m still extremely socially awkward, full of anxiety when forced to spend time with others, and extremely sarcastic. The difference is I’m also a teacher, and being a teacher has given me a super hero cape that allows me to use my awkwardness to my advantage. I readily admit to my students that I’m weird and awkward, which, honestly, is something everyone should be proud of.

Yet, I can’t admit to myself– or the readers I have left– why I struggle to write.

It’s not that I don’t have anything to say– believe me, I’m as opinionated as ever! I think I just realized, with more and more students finding my blog and calling me “blog famous Ms. B” in the halls, that the false sense of privacy I once had in hiding behind a computer screen is no longer there.

It’s harder to be vulnerable in your online identity when your online identity merges with your professional identity.

So, I’m going to try to write more. When I make my students write, I’ll write. When I have 5 minutes, I’ll free write. I’ll dig out the writing prompt book I purchased on clearance for my students and use it for myself.

Because, honestly, writing has saved my self-identity before. I’m not ready to give up the writer-aspect of who I am quite yet.

Accidental vacation

During the month of April, my goal was to write a poem a day for National Poetry Month, and to get back into daily blogging.

Instead, I accidentally went on a blogging hiatus.

On April 1st, my future father-in-law retired. Val & I helped him pack up his condo, as he was leaving us his condo when he retired down to Florida to take care of his mother, Val’s grandmother.

From April 3rd- 10th my district was on Spring Break. I spent this time off packing up my childhood, having brief meltdowns about growing up, grading poorly written papers, and trying to catch up on life.

On April 17th, I was a guest blogger on the Young Teachers Collective. I spoke about not being silent on the Day of Silence, or, as I affectionately call it, being an openly flaming homo teacher in a school lacking unicorns.

A week after my district returned from Spring Break, we had to administer the end of the year state testing. I won’t say what it’s called because I don’t want Big Brother spying on me, but just know that it was draining for students and teachers alike!

The weekend after testing, Val & I moved into our condo. I took off a Friday and a Monday from school, which is unprecedented for me.

OUR FIRST SELFIE IN OUR PLACE!

OUR FIRST SELFIE IN OUR PLACE!

On the Tuesday I returned from school, I hit my head while making photocopies (lol) and was told I had a minor concussion. I’m okay now though.

Throughout the entire month of April, I found myself floating in between doctor’s appointments at a specialist whose practice name really freaked me out. Everything worked out in the end, but DAMN. I found myself increasingly tired and drained from bloodwork, tests, and adjusting to new medication.

So. Yea. April was busy.

I have a new sense of rejuvenation today. I’m not sure why. I’m going to attempt to blog more, or at least ease back into blogging.

I’m bringing sassy back…